Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
