Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize
