he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
