Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
