i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
