We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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