he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
this will be a night to untag.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
