My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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