She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
