I'm gonna have a badass scar
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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