Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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