i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
