I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
