meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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