What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i will never coherently bang her
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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