We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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