Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
