Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
