Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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