just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
