He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
