I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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