hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
