Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
