This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
