At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
