she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
