I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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