Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
