He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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