hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She announced her abortion via fbk
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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