Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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