WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
