Umm I'm too high to move.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
