What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
