Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
