dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He kissed a someone with a penis
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
