Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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