Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
