The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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