i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
