Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
