Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
