when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize