I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
