Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
