She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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