Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
