Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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