Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize