Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
