Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
