so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
