farters have to be the big spoon...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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