i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
