I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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