At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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