margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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