Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
