i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
