John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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