is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
