i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
