WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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