if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
