Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
