what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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