Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
