I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
