I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
