Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
