is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
