I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
