Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
