I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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