when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
where does the pee come out of this thing
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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